holding hands
by sanumarox123
Summary: ... it's about speaking without words. it is about "I want you with me" and "don't go".


**i'm sorry if this majorly sucks because i feel like it does**

**thanks to sfv for going over this with me. she deserves all the credit in the world because she fixed something that was literally about kate and castle's eyeballs talking to each other.**

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><p><strong>disclaimer: does it look like i deserve a spot in the writing team of Castle? (the obvious answer is no)<strong>

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><p>Richard Castle likes to hold Kate Beckett's hand.<p>

A lot.

Sometimes it's about possessiveness.

Sometimes he'll grab her hand when they face down a (not so shabby looking) suspect. Or even when they're walking on the street, to work or chasing down a lead. If there's just the slightest glance in her direction, Castle is aware and takes her hand.

But it's not just _hand-holding_. The way he holds her hand, tightly and almost on the brink of pain, makes her think that albeit his claims, it's more than just for self-preservation.

(Because seriously. Self preservation? A three year old could come up with something better.)

He'll grab her hand and squeeze, pulling her tightly into his embrace, and she'll have to stop the grin on her face because she _knows_ that he's being protective (and it sort of turns her on, too).

One time, he even stared a suspect down, and mouthed, "This is mine," and pointed at her.

(Notwithstanding, if looks could kill, Rick Castle would be six feet underground by now.)

The whole precinct gets a kick out of it, too. They'll laugh and tease the two of them relentlessly until Kate gets fed up and leaves the room, pissed off, throwing an angry look at her boyfriend. Her adorable, possessive, yet very annoying boyfriend.

(Their sex is amazing those nights, though. There's something about angry make-up sex that just gets the two of them spurring into motion. Literally.)

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><p>Sometimes it's about maintaining contact.<p>

When the two of them show up at one of those annual gala dinners, and he's looking dashing in his suit and tie, and Kate's feeling proud of herself looking rather nice in her flowing silver dress that always manages to get a reaction out of her boyfriend, crowds of people will surround them, asking questions all the way to their table.

He'll grab her hand to make sure she stays right next to him (where she belongs). He cradles her palm to his palm, and somehow, even with just the slightest touch of their connected fingers, the world falls away and it's only them.

It's just them and nobody else.

At night, when she's just falling asleep, cradled into his side, he'll take her hand and bring it to his bare chest, pressing it to first his lips, so as to kiss it, and then to his heart, and that's how they fall asleep. The two of them fall asleep like that, staying together through their connected hands.

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><p>Sometimes it's about "don't go".<p>

Sometimes they'll have fights and each of them will refuse to back down, so they storm out of the room angrily, going into separate rooms.

It never lasts long. Most of the time it's he who comes into whatever room she's in and take her hand, pressing a kiss to her wrist, looking up at her with a silent apology even if it wasn't his doing.

He's still afraid sometimes that she'll leave him. When she's joking about his failed marriages with his daughter and mother, he'll sometimes grab her hand and hold on, and she'll squeeze his hand to reassure him that she's in it for keeps.

(Because she made him think for the longest time that there was no hope for the two of them.)

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><p>And sometimes it's about speaking without words.<p>

Even before they began dating, during that four year period where one or the other denied their feelings for each other and avoided the obvious thing between them, they were able to communicate without speaking with each other.

It's about saying "I want you with me" through hand motions and gestures that'll show how they feel even if they can't show it through kisses or other physical ways of showing how much they love each other at that moment.

In the beginning of their relationship, they had to rely on handshakes instead of kisses, or hugs. Handshakes that were emphasized by the way the two of them spoke with their eyes (almost literally).

They hid the new thing between them for a long time (or so it felt).

He holds her hand whenever he can, and each time it's different.

Kate's favorite is when he'll take her hand, he'll say, "I want you with me," and kiss her.

Because she can tell what he's feeling through the different ways he holds her hand, and that's the thing she loves most about him.

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><p>"<em>And I understand. I understand why people hold hands. I'd always thought it was about possessiveness, about saying "this is mine". But it's about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about "I want you with me" and "don't go".<em>

-tumblr post

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><p><strong>also thank you to sfv for teaching me a new spice girls song and for teaching me about pigs <strong>

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><p><strong>uhm so yeah i've been posting nearly every day lately and i just want you all to know that won't happen anymore because exams are coming up and i really need to work on them<strong>

**(by the way, the m addition to that three o'clock in the morning fic will be up after christmas hopefully.)**


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